Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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