He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just threw up on my dentist
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
