how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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