Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
