I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
