so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
