i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We're too hungover to prance.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
