So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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