I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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