my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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