Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
