On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize