We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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