member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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