Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
just found out that she named her cat after me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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