it's too hot outside to masturbate.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
