do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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