Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
