I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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