there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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