Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
