If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
