When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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