i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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