a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
