My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
