And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
