I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Everything about him screamed your future.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
