I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize