i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
