Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
