the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
