Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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