Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
