i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize