Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
