There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
