I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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