Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She bit a glass in half.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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