so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize