Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think I died a long time ago.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
