I want to walk on stilts...naked
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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