How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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