No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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