At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
