You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
