i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
