Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I fill condoms, not promises.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
