this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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