As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
