How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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