Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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