Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
