I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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