Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
