ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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