Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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