i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
