With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
