yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Jerry, you need to find god
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
