pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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