She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
