Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You dont lie about slip and slides
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
