Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I faked an abortion last night.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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