We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
