How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
