She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
