He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Someone signed my nipple.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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