FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
