is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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