Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
